Recently I decided to return to my roots and pick film photography back up. There are a number of reasons for the return, but my history with film is primary among them. Simply put, I missed film. I missed the uncertainty inherent in the craft/process and I missed not having to stare at a computer to make an image. I knew that I had to concentrate on what I wanted when shooting and I had to pre-visualize everything if I wanted to make a successful photograph. These things are important to me as a human being and as an artist.
Best Subs in DC In the time of the Covid-19 pandemic, people must go about many of their daily tasks regardless. (Nikon FE2 Nikkor 28mm F2.8, Ilford HP5 developed in X-Tol, scanned and finished in Capture One).
Twenty five years ago I began my path as an artist at the local community college. I learned all sorts of things there but primary among them is that I as an individual can decide my own path and as a result, I alone would be responsible for the decisions that would shape my life. I spent time learning to draw, to paint, to sculpt and to photograph. I studied art history and though I had been learning all manner of liberal arts curricula, the arts were what really stuck in my brain.
My Dog Bert (Nikon F100, Nikkor 24mm F2.8-D, Kodak T-Max Professional developed in X-Tol, Scanned and finished in Capture One).
When I finished at that fine institution I went on to what was at the time, the best public art university in the United States, Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU). I would attend VCU to finish up my undergraduate degrees in Sculpture, Studio Arts (photography) and Art History. Then I decided it was time to attack my masters degree and this is where it gets truly relevant. I made the life altering decision to undertake a Master of Fine Arts in Photography and Filmmaking.
The key word in that whole equation is film. I loved it. I built a dark room in my apartment. I eat breathed and lived photography. I bought cameras I couldn’t afford. I showed and showed my work in galleries all over town and then around the US. I stayed up all night on alcohol fueled benders developing film and printing until I couldn’t see straight and eventually crashed. I and my cohorts studied hard, drank harder and partied even harder. I always carried cameras. I had Leicas, a pair of Contaxs, numerous Nikons. You name it, I had one, all so I had the right camera to shoot with or be seen with. All the while loving everything about film. The truth is that I was a zealot for film.
Tidal Sands (Nikon FM, Nikkor 50mm F1.8 AI, scanned and finished in Capture One).
During that period, there were rumblings that digital was coming but those cameras cost many tens of thousands of dollars and it seemed unlikely anyone would want one let alone actually own one of those monstrosities. They were sacrilege. They didn’t use film. Sure they used our lenses but the sensors at the time were a joke. Nothing anyone could ever want. I mean, why would they?
As time moved on so did the photography world. As I was running a successful commercial photography business I stayed the course. I refused the digital movement. Even when I did finally buy a digital camera, I rarely used it for much. I was still singing the praises of film and calling anyone who went with digital, traitors.
The Precarious Nature of a Tree Living Near the Bay (Fuji GW690 (6x9 Rangefinder) Fujinon 90mm F3.5, Fuji Neopan Acros 100 developed in X-Tol).
And then it happened. Not one, but three of my clients all wanted nothing but digital, all at once. I thought, sure, no problem. I’ll just get the medium format film scanned and no biggie, I’m in like Flynn. Not so fast. It turned out to be prohibitively expensive to scan film at resolutions and qualities that magazines and commercial organizations wanted. I was trapped. I was forced to shoot digital.
The rest is history of course. I made the transition. I stopped using film and I packed all of my film equipment carefully with the fear that I might again need it. Those days didn’t come. I began the disassembly of a dream and I got rid of the Leicas and the Contax. I kept a Skeleton crew of film cameras and one of my three darkroom setups because I felt I had to. My excuse was for no other reasons than posterity and shelf display when I’d point at the shelf and tell people this is what the old days were like. The rest, the pair of Mamiya 645s, the horseman 4x5 and the lenses to go with all were sold. Film was dead. There was no reason to consider it.
Tulip Tree by the Bay (Nikon FM, Nikkor 50mm F1.9 AI, T-Max 100 developed in X-Tol)
Even during my years as an Adjunct Professor of Art, I too rode the wave of the digital high. I told students not to bother learning film and I even went so far as to vote for the photography department to get rid of the traditional darkroom classes. Thank God they didn’t. What was I thinking?
Digital has been a boon. Timelines are compressed to a day that once were weeks. Jobs can be shot and passed off in a blink. You can see what you shot immediately. Even if you aren’t an adept photographer, you can take enough shots to make it seem like you are because as Picasso said about his many masterpieces, if you throw enough darts at a dart board, you are bound to hit a bulls eye.
There is just one problem with digital. With all the convenience and instantaneous gratification, the art of the craft has been lost. If you fuck up a shoot, you can likely fix it in photoshop. Hell, cameras even have dual memory card slots because people are so unable to accept it when something goes wrong that they insist upon massive redundancy. It would be good for all photographers to have an entire roll of film lost, screwed up or otherwise unusable just so they can feel what it’s like to have to do a small reshoot and maybe even get it better the second time. This is completely unrealistic with the ad agencies of the current era. That kind of mistake just might get you fired.
Tool Shed With Aged Taxidermy (Zeiss Ikon Ikoflex (6x6 TLR), Ilford HP5 developed in X-Tol)
The frantic nature of things exists on all sides. My friend Paul who is also a landscape photographer is fond of saying things like, “I don’t shoot just one thing during a sunrise because I might miss something if I do.” That mentality is the world we are in now, and I am guilty as the next photographer of it.
I’m sure you know where this is going of course. Lately, and with the Covid-19 Pandemic in full swing around the globe, I decided to shoot film again. I decided I needed to really slow down. I had already been slowing my pace when shooting to the point where at times, I would go out on a landscape shoot and come back with one image and nothing more. I am thoroughly enjoying film. I love that I can’t check my images after shooting them to see if I got it. I am of course fortunate to have been weened in the time of analog cameras so I don’t have the insecurity that the digital only community posess regarding their ability to capture an image. I too know that rarely but sometimes I won’t and that that actually doesn’t matter. There will always be another opportunity. As they say, the opportunities are where you make them.
Tons of Tones (Fuji GW690 (6x9 Rangefinder) Fujinon 90mm F3.5, Fuji Neopan Acros 100 developed in X-Tol).
As we move through this worldwide problem. We will come out the other side changed. Societally, mentally, and emotionally. That doesn’t mean of course that clients will suddenly want me to shoot film for them, but I do hope it means that we will all slow down and that I will continue the craft and the art of analog photography. There is an unbelievable sense of zen that comes with knowing the medium, creating the thing, and ending the action with a successful piece.
This week, I will go on a film only landscape shoot for the first time in 15 years. I will endeavor to bring back a shining example of what film photography can be for landscape work, but then again, if I don’t, there will always be another opportunity, or there won’t. Fortunately, that is within my power to decide.
One last note. All of these photos were shot over the last two weeks. I have plenty of film in my freezer that I did keep for the last 15 years. I still had that nagging feeling that I’d need it one day and here we are.
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Lands End (Fuji GW690 (6x9 Rangefinder) Fujinon 90mm F3.5, Fuji Neopan Acros 100 developed in X-Tol)